- Wine does not judge me after a long day or offer an opinion, it only comforts me
- I get to choose how much money I invest into it, it does not beg for more
- Wine has never sent me an unsolicited nasty picture (OUCH, MY EYES!!!)
- Wine doesn’t cheat, once I open a bottle it is committed completely to me
- Wine has a job (to make me happy!) Side note – most men I have dated could not get/keep a job
- Wine makes me look and feel more beautiful
- Wine helps me make new friends instead of taking time away from the ones I have
- Wine lets me go to sleep when I want to, it doesn’t need any special late night attention
- Wine doesn’t have facial hair, it feels good on my lips every time!
- I do not have to clean up after wine, it is self contained (unless of course I have too much and spill it – party foul!)
- Wine smells like heaven on earth, not like butt sweat and gym socks
- When wine gets older it gets better, not worse
